How to Stop Avoiding Tasks When You Have ADHD

You’ve got a task that’s been sitting on your to-do list forever.

You told yourself you’d get started today. You said that yesterday, too. You have to do this task. You want to do it, but you can’t. And maybe you’re not sure why.

If you have ADHD, I bet you know this experience all too well. Whether you call it procrastination, laziness, or executive functioning issues, you have a history of avoiding tasks. This task avoidance can then turn into guilt, shame, and an even stronger sense of avoidance. That’s why it’s important to recognize why you’re avoiding the task, and to find a way through it. I have a few steps that have helped me and my clients who deal with ADHD task avoidance.

How to Overcome Task Avoidance

Step 1: Notice Your Emotions

First, take stock of what you’re feeling. What emotions do you notice? What does this task bring out in you? Some common emotions include:

• Disinterest

• Anxiety

• Overwhelm

• Frustration

• Guilt

• Anger

If you’re not even sure what you’re feeling, the Emotion wheel is a good place to start.

Step 2: Ask Why

Now take those emotions, and figure out why the task makes you feel that way. Let’s break down the above emotions:

• Disinterest - the task is boring

• Anxiety - you’re afraid of making mistakes

• Overwhelm - you’re not sure where to start, or it’s a big task

• Frustration - the task feels difficult

• Guilt - you feel that you should have done it by now

• Anger - you don’t feel you should have to do it at all

Step 3a: Solve the problem

This can be the hardest step, but I’ll walk you through the above examples again. Our good buddy ChatGPT can also be helpful here. Prompts like “How do I make this task less [boring, overwhelming, frustrating]” or “How do I feel less [guilty, angry, or anxious] about a task” can provide some good tips.

Almost everyone I’ve coached who has ADHD experiences overwhelm as part of task avoidance. For that reason, I always recommend the following part B to step 3:

Step 3b: Break it down

 ADHDers who deal with task avoidance are much more likely to get started on something when they have a clear first step for a task. Vague instructions and times are more likely to cause overwhelm.

❌Instead of “clean the kitchen,”
✅Try “wipe down the front of the fridge,” or “re-organize the bottom shelf of the pantry.” 

The two main ways you can break down a task are:

1. Sort the task into smaller steps, or
2. Chunk it into time blocks.

Here’s a list of examples for breaking tasks into smaller steps:

• Do the dishes: Start with the silverware (or cups, or plates)

• Fill in your monthly budget spreadsheet: Add items from one credit card/bank account

• Fold the laundry: Hang up one article of clothing every time you pass your laundry basket

• File taxes: Start by finding a website/accountant

• Write a blog post: write 100 words, or an outline of ideas

Let’s go through some more possible problems that are leading to your task avoidance.

Common Reasons for Task Avoidance

Boring Tasks

Find a way to bring some fun to the situation. Try to engage your senses: play with a fidget toy during calls, light a scented candle while you work, or listen to an energizing playlist while you clean. 

When I have a list of tasks I’m avoiding, I write down my items on sticky notes and tape them to a wall. I use a sticky hand toy to choose a task for me. This brings a bit of novelty to the situation, and also removes the pressure of deciding where to start. I can’t get task paralysis if I don’t have to choose. If task paralysis is something you deal with too, I have another blog post on identifying priorities that could help.

(I wasn’t joking about the sticky hand)

Anxiety 

Task avoidance anxiety is often perfectionism in an uglier outfit. When you’re afraid of making mistakes, you’re afraid of getting started. This can take time, but practice the art of “good enough.” Done is absolutely better than perfect. 

Getting over your task avoidance anxiety means proving to yourself that the world is not going to end if you complete a task and it’s not perfect. You can also help this by trying something new, or by practicing being bad at something. Mess something up on purpose! It doesn’t have to be big. Try drawing something intentionally ugly, or sing out of tune. Personally, I’m a fan of Wreck this Journal by Keri Smith. The book directs you to intentionally ruin the pages in a variety of ways.

Frustration

If you’re feeling frustrated, the task might feel too difficult. You may need to revisit step 3b and break the task down further. Or, ask for help. You don’t have to muscle through your life on your own! You deserve help. Reach out to those in your circle to see if you can get some assistance. 

Guilt

This can be a tough one for those of us who chronically avoid tasks. With each day that passes and the task is left undone, the guilt builds. However, if being hard on yourself worked, the task would have gotten done by now. Instead, you’re even more likely to continue avoiding the task because your strong emotions associated with it have increased. 

Lowering guilt involves acceptance and self-love. It can be difficult to talk to yourself gently around task avoidance, especially if it’s a new habit for you. It’s okay if it takes time to reduce your guilt. Here are a handful of positive affirmations that can help you get started:

1. My worth is not defined by my productivity. 

2. I am allowed to approach tasks at my own pace.

3. I release myself from my unfair expectations.

You can also move through guilt by talking to someone else, especially someone else who struggles with task avoidance. Reach out to other folks with ADHD, and you can always talk to me, too. Just head to my contact page and mention this blog post.

Anger

Reducing anger around task avoidance may take a bit of soul-searching. Try asking yourself why you feel this way, or if the task is truly important at all. Is there any way you can offload the responsibility for the task? Or, what would need to happen to release you from this task? Anger is generally a sign that something isn’t right – it may be worth pursuing a path forward that doesn’t involve this task.

There are some tasks that we feel we shouldn’t have to do, but we still have to do them anyway. For these tasks, try going back to making the task more enjoyable to remove some of the “ick” factor. 

I am a firm believer that fun kills the “ick” factor with task avoidance.

I hope this post was helpful for you! Remember – you are not the sum of your completed tasks, and it’s okay if it takes repeated effort to make progress. Take it one day, one step, and one moment at a time.