Writing on window reading "if you never know failure you will never know success" - Sugar Ray Leonard. Red everlast boxing gloves hanging behind window.

In my last post, I introduced the concept of a growth mindset and a fixed mindset. We covered why a growth mindset is vital for improving your health, habits, and happiness. Now, we’re going to work on changing a fixed mindset.

To review:

A growth mindset means that you believe you can change or improve any aspect of yourself.

A fixed mindset is when you don’t think you’re capable of these changes.

A growth mindset makes you more resilient, more creative, and more motivated.

A fixed mindset makes you more likely to give up in the face of adversity, and less likely to change unwanted habits.

It’s possible to have a growth mindset in some areas of your life and a fixed mindset in others. You can start to change a fixed mindset by figuring out where it lives in your brain. We’ll do a quick test to see what areas of your life you feel are innate, unchangeable, or out of your control.

Identify a fixed mindset by increasing your self-awareness

To identify your own fixed mindset, I asked you in my last post to ask yourself three questions:

1. What experiences in my past have I designated as failures?

2. What are some things I believe I cannot improve?

3. What skills do I believe I was born with?

Using these three questions, see if you can identify three areas of your life where you have a fixed mindset. To give you some ideas, you may think you’re bad at reading. Or, you may believe that because you were born with ADHD, you can’t ever focus for more than thirty minutes at a time. While these things may be hard for you, it’s possible for you to get better.

If you want a little more practice, here are some more signs of a fixed mindset:

Fear of failure
Avoiding challenges
Feeling threatened by others’ success
Feeling motivated by validation instead of personal growth

All right - now that we’ve done a little review and you’ve got your fixed mindset areas ready to go, let’s work on changing them.

For the rest of this post, we’re going to use a fixed mindset example to work through: an inability to focus.

person holding light bulb filled with wire string lights — Awareness is the first step towards change.

How to change your fixed mindset

1. Challenge your beliefs

Think about a time when you built a skill. You weren’t born with all of the abilities you have today. You learned your native language. You were taught how to do math. Maybe you’re a pro at snowboarding. These are all signs that you’re capable of growth. For our example, a fixed mindset might lie to you and tell you that you’ll never be able to focus for long periods of time. After all, you have ADHD. Therefore, your brain is hard-wired not to pay attention.

Let’s challenge this: if you have ADHD, you can probably focus on what’s interesting to you. For example, I can get sucked into a craft project all day long. I’m absolutely able to focus, as long as the thing I need to focus on is enjoyable for me. Therein lies the key for me to change this habit: as long as I find a way to make a task enjoyable, I can pay attention to it.

2. Openly embrace failure

Let’s deviate for a moment and explore the Japanese practice of Kintsugi. In this art form, broken pottery is repaired with a metallic lacquer. The mistake is not hidden, but instead illuminated. It creates a beautiful piece out of what would otherwise be seen as trash.

Setbacks are a normal part of life and of the learning process. They’re also great teachers. Every time we fail, we learn something new about ourselves and how we handle change. Looking back to the focus example: let’s say I started out with the goal of paying attention to a boring work meeting for its entire half hour. While I had good intentions, I got distracted halfway through and wound up endlessly scrolling on my phone. This experience taught me that I will get distracted if my phone is nearby. If I remove my phone as a distractor, I’m more likely to pay attention. If I try and fail to pay attention again during a meeting, I’ll inevitably learn something else about myself, and my habit.

Blue and white kintsugi plate on a marble countertop — The Japanese practice of Kintsugi teaches us that we can make something beautiful out of mistakes.

3. Gently embrace challenges

Get ready to push your boundaries a little. Change means getting uncomfortable! As you’re working on your fixed mindset, there will be times when it feels hard. However, you can make these moments a little more bearable by breaking your learning periods into small chunks, or smaller tasks. I struggle to focus for longer than a half hour, but I can do ten minutes pretty easily. So, I might challenge myself to a fifteen-minute focus session instead of trying to aim for a half hour right off the bat.

4a. Build a love for learning

Similar to the last point, getting curious and seeking out learning opportunities will help you shift your fixed mindset. The best way to do this is to find something you’re passionate about. We’re much more likely to learn if it’s something that we find interesting or enjoyable. Once you’re used to the practice of learning, you can apply it to harder or less enjoyable skills.

Scrabble word tiles on white background reading "I am still learning" — The phrase “I am still learning” is a great way to help yourself accept the moments that don’t go as planned.

4b. Get creative about your learning methods

Let’s go back to the focusing problem. Even though my ultimate goal is to be able to pay attention during meetings, I can build my ability to focus in a more enjoyable way. Even though I like tv shows and movies, it can be hard for me to pay attention for their whole duration. Still, the content is more enticing than a work meeting. So, I can practice working on my focus by challenging myself to watch an episode of a show without getting distracted. One of my favorite ways is to put something on that’s in a foreign language. I can’t understand the content of the show without looking right at the screen. This limits my likelihood to be distracted by something else.

5. Celebrate your hard work

Another difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset is that those with a fixed mindset believe they’re successful due to innate skills, like intelligence or genetics. Those who have a growth mindset claim that hard work led to their success.

You can improve a fixed mindset by focusing on your effort instead of the outcome. As you work on your skill, congratulate yourself for making it through setbacks, for persevering when things become challenging, and for dedicating time to your practice.

Leaf Cutter Ant carrying green leaf across sand — A hallmark of having a growth mindset is celebrating effort instead of success. Count your progress in hours dedicated towards your skill in addition to your gains in ability.

6. Surround yourself with growth-minded people

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that you become those who you spend time with. It’s absolutely true - if your social circle is negative, you will be, too. Similarly, if those around you say things like “That’s how it’s always been”, or “I was born this way”, it may be time to find some new influences. I’m not telling you to burn all your bridges or move to a new city and dye your hair. However, it might help to find a mentor for your desired skill, or to find someone whose mindset you admire. See if you can find a support group, networking event, sports league, etc. to give you a social outlet for your skill.

7. Be nice to yourself

Changing a fixed mindset is not easy. It takes time and a lot of effort. Don’t make it harder by beating yourself up about failures. When things don’t go as planned, take a deep breath. You may even benefit from stepping away from your efforts for a little while and allowing yourself some rest. But, don’t give up. Lean on your social circle (see point 5) for support.

If you find the going gets really tough, you can always reach out to me, too. As a health coach, I’m a professional hype woman. I can help you find the motivation to keep going, and I can help you add some structure to your goals to set you up for success. You can grab a free consultation time here.

What are your fixed mindset areas? What steps can you take to change them?

Your fixed mindset will limit your success. Here are seven ways to change it.